Confusion@#$%^&....

Forget about today, coz this is not the only day I have wasted,
For the same reason, defeats in the past I have tasted,
Every time when i feel it,
I try to quickly heal it,
By cursing every deed of mine,
And promising not to repeat next time,
But I really give a fuck to it,
Its easy to get going with the flow,
Dude it's dark, shut down the work, y the fuck u trying to glow,
Every time I try to improve ,
Some or the other things get out of groove,
And y the hell I am so infatuated by this LKK (log kya kahenge) factor,
What those insignificant bull shits have to say, they will, with a laughter,
Try make those morrons laugh at ur back,
it symbolises that u are on track.
Am occupied with ppl having two school of thoughts,
One idolizing "hard work" and the other "why work?"
I know what is right,which way to go,
But i have inclined the other way, why ..I don't know...
If he can do , y can't I,
Its a question I even fear to ask myself,
Cause I know there ll be silence after that,
The silence of the graveyards.
Is it the guts ,that I lack,
Or the courage as well,
I think confidence is also a thing I lack in my arsnel,
I don't know what describes me,
Apart from pyramidal structure of bones,
And muscular tissues , tendons and joint,
I am living but does my living has a point,
Creatures like me should have been extinct,
If dodos would somehow approach me today,
I shall make up for them , yes I ll do I ll not sway,
Even "hope" might think I am hopeless a piece,
I am drowning in the waters of reality,
Let me drown please,
I Never would want a lazy ass (me), to live any longer,
Cause if such ppl continue, they'll surely fall prey to an intelligent monger,87
And then I shall regret ,
On my deeds of past,
Nothing would last then... But that regression would last.!